You come away with a great little story. Of a mess of a dreamer, with the nerve to adore you.

It's adorable the way you care
,it's so nice to know that you're there.
It's cute that you say good night,
it's cute the way you kind of bite.
I love that you're kind of a nerd,
and I love the way that we occured.
The way you hold my hand in yours,
I hope you'll sit with me on tour(s).
The way you make me smile,
the way that you talk a while.
How you spell words wrong,
but I fix them before long.
When you tell me that I'm cute,
the way you go so mute.
How you make me feel happy,
even if my day was crappy.
But most of all,
how you're kind of tall.
And I'm kind of not,
but at least I've got,
You to keep me standing.

I wanna write words,
that only you can see.
I wanna say the things,
you've said to me.

But it's still so early,
and I'm so unsure.
Because she offered.
I'm worried about her.

I'm still so young,
and not ready for much.
Kissing is the closest
that you've promised to touch.

I couldn't stop askin', baby why can't you just stay?I put all my eggs in one basket, and the basket walked away.

but i didn't want it to be. you did. so it's harder for me.And I just can't see, why you didn't want us to be we?

I know I can't change it. but I would give anything to be able to.I can't change what happened, but there must be something I can do.

I hate other things so I don't hate you. because that'd be too hard,I hate that you stopped loving me, when I'd just let down my gaurd.

I hate that I still cared about you, and you just one day stopped.I was floating on balloons of happiness, that suddenly popped.

Is this real life?

[16:51] Dropkick4life93: boy, im havin a bad day
[16:51] matronofthemic: I'm sorry.
[16:51] matronofthemic: what happened?
[16:51] Dropkick4life93: alot
[16:51] matronofthemic: would you care to elaborate?
[16:52] Dropkick4life93: i gues,s just friends being dicks, techers, school, life in general, just on of those day
[16:52] Dropkick4life93: s
[16:52] matronofthemic: would you care to CONTINUE to elaborate?
[16:52] Dropkick4life93: not really
[16:54] matronofthemic: friends are jerks, but in a week they won't be. teachers are stressful, but remember they don't know what it's like to be our age in THIS age, school is just suckish and hard but you HAVE to do it and when it's over it's all worth it, and life is just necessary.

Don't worry worry super scurry

And if you judge me by the music I listen to, you'd think I was a girly flesh-eating piano-plunking guitar-slamming love child concieved by rednecks.


XD

Isn't it Ironic? (don't cha think?)

this song was playing today, and I didn't recognize it at first. but it was of course, Jason Mraz. I always hated this song, thinking it was actually pretty boring. but I've found so much in the lyrics to it. you'll never know.


Words to live by:


It takes a crane to build a crane

It takes two floors to make a story

It takes an egg to make a hen

It takes a hen to make an egg

There is no end to what I'm saying


It takes a thought to make a word

And it takes some words to make an action

And it takes some work to make it work

It takes some good to make it hurt

It takes some bad for satisfaction
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful

Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle

Ah la la la la life is wonderful

Ah la la la la laIt takes a night to make it dawn

And it takes a day to make you yawn brother

And it takes some old to make you young

It takes some cold to know the sun

It takes the one to have the other
And it takes no time to fall in love

But it takes you years to know what love is

And it takes some fears to make you trust

It takes some tears to make it rust

It takes the rust to HAVE it polished
Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful

Ah la la la la la la life goes full circle

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful

Ah la la la la
It takes some silence to make sound

And it takes a loss before you found it

And it takes a road to go nowhere

It takes a toll to make you care

It takes a hole to MAKE a mountain
Ah la la la la la life is wonderful

Ah la la la la la life goes full circle

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful

Ah la la la la la life is meaningful

Ah la la la la la la life is wonderful

Ah la la la la la life is meaningful

Ah la la la la la la life is full of

Ah la la la la la life is so full of love

Ah la la la la la life is wonderful

Ah la la la la la la life is meaningful

Ah la la la la la life is full of

Ah la la la la la life is so full of love

Molly...

Ellipse. We kiss. I miss you already. I wish you were still here. I fit perfectly into your arms, and you hold me so sweetly. You don't have to speak, just to hear you baited breath and you humble heart beating brings eternal joy to me. I love you. I think I might. But I'm afraid if I say it, it won't be true, because I don't beleive a fifteen year old knows what love is. But the way you hold my hand, the way you hold me close, the way you rub my hand, make sure I'm okay, tell me before you do anything, the way you follow me, the way you tease me, the way you let me win, the way I can fall asleep in your arms, the way you let me do what I like, the way you do exactly what I like, the way you understand me, the way you don't, the way you promise to be good, and just keep me near. I Love that. Love that. I Love it, my dear.

I Like Big Butts And I Cannot Lie.

So, being the tender age of 15, I am among the group known as 'teenage girls'. These are very delicate creatures with high heels and low self-esteem. We live off of sugar highs and shopping sprees, we make dumb decisions, and ones we don't realize are good until much later.

So is that all? Wow, thanks for the revalation, Molly. As if we didnt' know this already....

okay, wait there smart alleck, I'm not finished.

So, recently I have aquired a boyfriend. He is great. He is basically the kind of guy that, if I was to write down my perfect boyfriend, he would fit pretty much all catagories. He's sweet, romatic, incredibly nice, talented, really smart, loved by pretty much everyone, musically-inclined, a guitarist, in a band, tells me I'm beautiful, tells me he loves me, holds my hand, does little things that make me happy, takes care of me, hugs me, kisses me, understands me and thinks my quirks are cute. :]

So he's great. You get it. And he's my first boyfriend ever. And he's actually a catch. So how did a girl like me end up with him? Well it's probably not for the reasons that you think.

Last year I was really depressed, quiet, I gained weight, wore my hair down EVERY DAY to hide my scar, had very few friends, and wasn't really willing to give anyone a chance. I was kind of a mess. But after a while, I started to realize life wasn't a horrible thing, and came out of my shell....a little.

The point is, I have a scar on my cheek that isn't all that pretty, and I fit into a large at Abercrombie and Fitch, and yet, someone loves me. Someone fantastic. (and not fat or ugly!!!!)

So girls really need to realize that you don't have to aneroxic, flawless and wear all the right things. You just need to be happy, because a boy is not going to save you. And you can't love someone else, until you learn to love yourself.

I think I'm afraid of commitment.
Really afraid.
I don't know why this is. I've tried to analize it and it all comes back to two people. These two people are two girls who I trusted deeply and truly and who turned on me. Ever since then I've just been, different. not the same. And it's true in some ways it's for the best, but in other ways, it's been hell.
So ya. I don't even want to get married, because quite frankly, my parents don't make it look like much fun.
And I don't even know if I'm capable of loving someone.
I mean, I have a guy who's so amazing to me. But when I told someone I never wanted to get married, they basically told me that I probably won't want to until I meet someone I really love. Which made me wonder if I really loved him. If I really could love anyone.
I see marrige as a compramise. And I feel like I'm too much of a free spirit to be held down by anyone. I hate that I'm obligated to go to things, like tonight, when I'd much rather just stay home and sleep.
I'm bad at not being selfish. I've never had to really share before I guess.
I don't know. I'm akward.
Really akward.
Maybe I'm just incabale of loving another human being because I'm so in my own world.
And it's not like I have practice at this whole 'girlfriend thing'.
I mean, I don't think I'm a horrible one.
I mean, I give him plenty of space, and I try to be nice and interesting.
But I think in some ways he's too good for me.
God that sounds so depressing....but it's true.





Maybe I just need to calm down.
But I'm really scared about tonight.
Really scared.
I hope everything goes fine.
It better.


But I'm only one girl. I can only handle so much. I'm so stressed. gosh. really stressed.
oh gosh. I wish someone was online to talk to...
I really need to calm the heck down.

So Chamber Singer rehersal starts in a few hours.

I hate that opening question. No one EVER laughs at my joke.


no seriously, they never do.

at all.


not ever a chuckle.


a guaf.


nada.


nothing.


ooooh post secret.

hm, nothing too exciting. too relatable.
I guess I'm just searching for my own secret lying their on the page.
It has not surfaced yet.




but I believe one day that it will.

God I hate waking up early.

but I hate sleeping-in. It makes me feel so worthless and dumb.

God I hate that so many people wished him Happy Birthday.
He's never been really very nice to me at all.
He didn't even say hello to me at that audition.
I don't get it...

god I love nerdfighters. how you can leave a comment for ANYONE and EVERYONE is so very nice! It really is such a great online community.

God I'm worried about today.

I wonder if I'll get my present today... I kind of hope not.

oh, I really want to go listen to my new John Mayer Live cd.

god I wonder what he got me.....eep!

haha, I wonder if he chose something Rachel recomended. lol. I can't wait to see that girl!

Kitties....

But I'm still sad about Baby, but she lived so long. Sorry, he. I know. I know.


I did NOT spend this summer right. I should have been outside playing all summer.
I wasn't.
And I regret it.
So maybe I'll leave and go outside and read.
Get a tan?
Probably not.
But here's hoping?
WISH ME LUCK!!! XD

I'm Yours

Well, it certainly appears that Molly Olsen finally got herself a boyfriend. I know, it's surprising.
I'm really happy about that, and I really hope not to screw this up. Because I know I would never be able to forgive myself.

haha, John Green's prank is amaaaaaazzzzzing.

Scooters, vacation, fall. <-----those are apparently popular lables for this post?

hmm....well that's interesting.

Where have you been?
I'm glad you went,
but I must admit,
the time you spent,
was far too far,
away from me,
and now faraway,
is all I want to see.

As Elle would say, I am so much better than before.

Hey! So ya, I haven't written forever and a day! I'm very very sorry. Currently, I'm watching John Green on blogtv. It's lovely. He's lovely. And I'm writing a lovely nerdfighter song! :D And this makes me glad. Also, I'm working on a bookshelf. This excites me greatly. I've painted it, and am planning on putting pictures on it and stuff! So I'm very excited. However, I'm having a hard time finding enough good pictures from magazines.

Rachel was supposed to come over today, but her aunts home from LA so...ya.

That sucks.


I heart John Green.

Mom just got back from Honey's.




I want to write a book. Now. Right now. Help?


Today I am very happy. I am so much more at peace with myself and my life currently. True, there are things I'd like to change, but currently, I am very happy. Thankyouverymuch. :]

Did Queen REALLY want to ride their bicycle?

So, not that it's anything new......but I've been thinking that when I ride my bike that nothing else really matters. I mean, true, I guess it does matter, but still.... You know how some people say when they run, or meditate that everything becomes clear? Well, when I ride my bike I just find myself thinking of all of these little things. Like, poetry, acting, singing, writing, and just life in general. I analyze things and attempt to understand things. Like, I sort things out, and figure out what really matters to me.

And when I bike, I find myself feeling like if I just push a little harder I'll just lift off the ground. Of course, that's dreadfully silly. In fact, juvenial and stupid. But somehow, flying has always meant total freedom to me.

I remember when I was younger, and all I wanted to do was ride my bike with my friend Tess. God, I haven't hung out with Tess in years. Anyway, there wasn't an ounce of fat on my body because all I did was ride my bike, swim and jump on the trampoline. WHERE DID ALL OF THIS ENERGY GO?!?!?

I had something intellegent to say...but frankly I don't feel like being interesting, cause there's nothing on youtube...........I love youtube............it's an addiction.

What is love? Does Haddaway even know?

I truly do not understand relationships in highschool. Now you're probably like wow Molly, um, and when did you last have a relationship? Well, ya, it's true I'm certainly not the girl on every guys arm. In fact, I don't really even have any guy friends. I mean sure, I know guys who are nice to me, but none that I can REALLY talk to. And if they DO talk to me, I probably do not want much to do with them. Any who, THAT, my good friends is simply NOT the point. (wow with the big words Molly)

All today, and for a few weeks, I've been thinking about what it means to be 'in love'. Is it a state of mind? Is it a state of being? Is it only physical? (I'm not just talking kisses, hugs, and such, but like, adreniline rushes, heart pulsates) Or are they just words? Are we all just saying that we 'love' someone because we need them? Do we get married because we know that that person makes us feel funny (in a good way) and you can just tolerate each other? Also, people who get divorced, were they ever truly in love? Or just lust? Puppy love? [insert another word for love-like things].

Once again I'm going on one of those tangents that simply is not what I was trying to say. Alright. This is what I've been TRYING to say. How on earth can you 'love' someone after you've only been going out with them for a week? And then you break up with them after a week? What?!?!?!?! That is most certainly not LOVE my good sir or madam. Love takes time, and doesn't get ruined after one week. That is simply proposterous and guvenial, and if you are that guvenial, that you shouldn't even be ALLOWED to date!

Now, don't think I'm down on love. In fact, I've just spent the last hour listening to a song that I kinda keep wishing was written about me. The likelyhood of this is quite low, but a girl can dream....can't she?

Like I said, I'm just an ordinary girl, none too special. :-/

(but the most ordinary girls, are secretly the most special)